or, when youвЂ™re really angry, in minutes.Д«ut keep in mind that you must really want to execute these steps, be sufficiently motivated to perform them.

So let me offer you a two-step alternative to abandoning your better judgment and giving in to the temptation of anger-one that should neutralize your anger in seconds. I think youвЂ™ll agree that only rarely can you claim that your anger is both warranted and, whether to yourself or the relationship. that is, your anger must:Д«e directed toward a person who has intentionally (and needlessly) behaved in a hurtful way toward you andД«e beneficial or advantageous to you (i.e., assist you in achieving a desired goal). as david burns, the author of the seminal self- book feeling good, observes: if realistically, acting on your anger is to make any sense, it needs to meet two criteria-which, in almost every case, is frankly impossible.

such reactive anger is probably best understood as self-defeating. and probably the key one is that almost never does it resolve the issue that gave rise to it. There are, however, a multitude of problems related to this immediate, push-back reaction of anger. itвЂ™s as though youвЂ™re raising a fist in protest, proclaiming that youвЂ™re not going to capitulate to such injustice. since what typically makes you mad is feeling powerless in the face of what seems unfair, your anger is mostly an attempt at a вЂњquick fixвЂќ to right the balance. When-without warning-something provokes your anger, you may struggle not to succumb to it.

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